A LITTLE BIT O' BUBBLEGUM

I have set aside my paper/fabric art for just a short while to dedicate time to a writing project that has been ready to burst from me for about 10 years now. It has come out in small bits of 10-15 minute sets of stand-up comedy performed at various fund raisers for critters and other venues, in search of the funny in the tragedy and drama of that which we call LIFE. These short sets seem to be the most my Adult A.D.D. brain could seem to put on paper and stage until I finally made a commitment to myself to just do the dang thing Nike style.

Since the project is based on some early childhood experiences, I am forced to visit a time in my life that is conjuring up all sorts of emotions, memories and such. I have walked away from the keyboard several times in tears, some times of joy but often of a broken hearted kind. Needless to say, I break from the project more than I should for someone who really just wants to get it out NOW but it helps in processing the memories and getting them on paper in a way that makes sense for me at this juncture in my life.

Any time I have shared stories of my childhood with friends that were not part of this time in my life, there is often a look of wonder on their faces trying to figure out how I dealt and came out on the other side as sane as I am today, which may not be all that sane in the eyes of some, which I say with a hint of laughter as I type this. It has been family, good friends, art and the stage that have been a great therapy through ALL my life, saving me from the funny farm and by the by, why do that call it “the funny farm”, anyway? With my great love for critters and my personal idiosyncrasies, maybe a “funny farm” is just the place for me. I truly believe that the grace and sanity that my father handled it all with, gave me strength through the years to not let a dysfunctional childhood get in the way of my future adulthood. At least not too much.

I have discovered in finally writing IT down how much music starts playing in the background of my mind as certain stories are put to paper. I have written of it before how music can really affect the state of mind or how certain music is appropriate for particular moods we are in, especially when we are in a creative mood.

I have been made fun of OFTEN by MANY for some of my taste in music. Mind you, I like many different styles of music from Big Band to The Beatles to Amos Lee, Rhett Miller, Nick Drake, even Led Zeppelin & Rascal Flatts. However, I have a great fondness for upbeat 1970’s bubblegum pop, no holds barred. Laugh if you will. You know you secretly like it, too. “I Think I Love You” are timeless lyrics! Correct me if I am wrong:

"I Think I Love You"

(As recorded by the Partridge Family/Bell)

TONY ROMEO

I was sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream

Like all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain

Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head

And spring up in my bed screaming out the words I dread

I think I love you

This morning I woke up with this feeling

I didn't know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself

I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it

And did not go and shout it when you walked into the room

I think I love you

I think I love you so what am I so afraid of

I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for

I think I love you isn't that what life is made of

Though it worries me to say that I never felt this way

I don't know what I'm up against

I don't know what it's all about

I got so much to think about

Hey, I think I love you so what am I so afraid of

I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for

I think I love you isn't that what life is made of

Though it worries me to say I never felt this way

Believe me you really don't have to worry

I only wanna make you happy and if you say "hey go away" I will

But I think better still I'd better stay around and love you

Do you think I have a case let me ask you to your face

Do you think you love me?

I think I love you

I think I love you

(I think I love you)

I think I love you

(I think I love you)

I think I love you

(I think I love you)

I think I love you

(I think I love you).

(c) Copyright 1970 by Screen Gems-Columbia Music, Inc.

In retrospect it was the upbeat sound and lyrics of the bubblegum pop of the early to mid 70’s that helped keep my mind distracted from the chaos of divorce and all that that entailed (and most likely a little more than the average divorce in my case) when I was a kid. It’s amazing the therapeutic affect the whirly gig noise of teen idol-y music had during THIS crucial time in my life. The Osmonds, Partridge Family, The DeFranco Family, Jackson 5….even the Beatles pre-The White Album.

I remember my brother being a fan of The Beatles and can even still see the cover to an album he had before my parents split and we were still living in the house on Fenchurch as a “family” that he often played on a turntable he had in his room. “I Want to Hold Your Hand”, “Twist & Shout”, happy catchy, upbeat tunes. Then came, “I Think I Love You”, “Heartbeat, It’s a Love Beat”, “Puppy Love”, The Brady Bunch album with “Me and You and a Dog Named Boo” & “Sunshine Day”on it and the list rolls on.

Something I just realized as I write this, aside from the Beatles who acted much like a family unit at the time, how many of these pop groups were “families” real or imagined? The Osmonds, Jackson 5, DeFranco Family, Brady Bunch, (made-up TV family) , Partridge Family (Shirley Jones and David Cassidy were family even if the rest were not) or Sonny and Cher who appeared happily married...hmmmm? The coincidence of a family unit amongst these pop sensations might have been something I subliminally latched onto.

Some of the music is not so good, I admit it. The Brady Bunch stuff just did not survive the test of time like The Partridge Family or Jackson 5 did. Some of it is now

being played in TV ads that this generation has no clue of the first go-round of tunes such as “Rock Me Gently”. They see in their heads a squirrel singing in a Jeep driving down the country road and a wolf that almost “kills” the party in said Jeep. Great ad by the by.

Original Andy Kim:

Jeep ad Andy Kim:

A fond music related memory that comes to mind is of Miss Nowlin’s 1^st grade class. If you brought your favorite 45’s to class, there was a turntable where you could play the record during break/nap time with headphones on so as not to disturb those that chose to nap (something I rarely did then and even today). I had a copy of the Jackson 5’s Rockin’ Robin and nearly wore it out. I remember other kids wanting to borrow my Rockin’ Robin 45 and for the first time in my life felt a sense of community amongst others…my 1^st grade classmates.

The first years of one’s life make a major imprint in one’s heart and soul which is why a song like Andy Kim’s “Rock Me Gently” or The Archies, “Sugar Sugar” makes me smile today even though the first time I heard these songs, chaos was going on in my lil’ kid world. These songs acted as pain medicine decades ago and they still work for me today in the same way.

My mother was one of those many women obsessed with Neil Diamond at the time all hell was breaking loose and if she’d had one too many, you could pretty much count on Neil Diamond Gold: Live at the Troubadour spinning round and round over and over on the turntable. There are faint memories of falling asleep to that album playing in the den until all hours of the night when I was barely 5 years of age. There was a time when any song from that album could evoke some really intense emotions in me. Now all of those songs have come to feel like family reminding me of a sweeter time before things got so complicated in my family’s home oh so many years ago.

I remember an evening after my father and brother had already moved out of the house and my mother had left me alone to do whatever it was she did back then. I had been sleeping in her king size bed (instead of my own room she was trying to get me to sleep in) with her polyester orange blanket with satin trim…orange was so popular in the early 70’s or maybe it was just her favorite color… and I woke up to Johnny Carson on her tv. I did not compute that it was night time. I thought it was time to get up for school, got myself dressed and started eating my corn puffs or Captain Crunch, that part I don’t remember but it was cold cereal,nonetheless. There was a yellow transistor radio in the den that I would turn on and I remember the song, YOUR SONG by Elton John playing in the background as I sat there eating my “breakfast” as my father came in the back door to pick me up to take me to my grandmother’s home because my mother would not be returning that particular night. Years later, my father told me how his heart broke a little seeing how confused I was yet so committed, dressed and ready for school, eating my breakfast when it wasn’t even midnight. He began to monitor everything going on in the house to make sure of my safety. It would have been about then that he thought it best to get custody of me but that would take some time.

I am in no way ashamed of turning up an oldie’s station when “Sugar Sugar” comes on.

You should see me dancing with the cat to some feel-good Partridge Family song off of a greatest hits CD on any possible given night as I try to lighten my mood when the heaviness of the world is getting to me. Long ago, I had a tendency to pop a “Partridge Family Greatest Hits” cassette tape into tape decks at parties after whoever was in charge of the music had had one too many just to see people’s faces light up to “C’mon Get Happy!” I did it once at a theatre after-party that Andi Allen (a super cool actress in Dallas) was attending and then the next time I saw a show she was a part of, guess what I heard in the set of chosen pre-show music? A few Partridge Family tunes! She came up to me and said that she had forgotten how fun their music was. I was highly flattered. See…not everyone makes fun of me…some cross over to the dark side and embrace the sweet sweet sound of bubblegum!

THE PAPER PLACE GIVE AWAY

Just stumbled across this treat and potential opportunity to all paper artists today:




















Gotta love a give away of that much sexy paper!
Hit the photo above for a link to what I am jabbering about.

SLOW DOWN

Today I was forced to slow down and chill out due to a cold/flu thing coming on...well, it's already here. I fought it hard because my proverbial "to-do" list is always 10 times as long as it ever is this time of year.

In the end it has been a good day of kicking it on the couch with plenty of OJ, green tea & honey, my big bottle of Wellness Formula, cat sitting at my feet keeping them warm, lap top on lap keeping it warm, Pandora.com streaming my favorite music and all sorts of good reading. I received an order from Amazon several weeks ago that I've had no time to even crack. Now I am getting down and dirty burying my head in some crafting books gleaning ideas for holiday gifts. It's going to be a crafty Christmas with the current state of the economy kicking my pocket book's butt. And "makin' stuff" is my therapy from my crazy life. Cheaper than Prozac or Xanax...hee.

I am usually quite anxious when I am "forced" to slow down due to unforeseen causes because getting sick is never something I am very good at working into my schedule. I gave in today and decided to go with the flow, listen to my body and take care of myself first instead of driving myself to a place of potentially more discomfort by go-go-going.....

....and I survived with little to no anxiety attacks today. I feel better already and I have even done some writing which I have been neglecting or simply NOT prioritizing.

As Martha would say, "It's a good thing." And it has been.

Getting quiet and hanging out with my own thoughts and the cat (super good example of the zen of chillin') has helped clear my head of so much clutter that builds up this time of year. Over the past 10 years, this time of year has been extraordinarily frantic for me and rarely a joy until December 25th when I can hide from my regular work world which often expects more of me than I can give. It is that part of my life that is "closed for business" on the 25th and I can just breath if only for a day.

I remember when I was a kid, living with my father, how holidays such as Christmas often ended up being a day we did a top-to-bottom cleaning of the house. Odd, I know, but his life as a single father working full time as an attorney left him little free time so we would hunker down together, bleach out the toilets, fill the dishwasher, vacuum the carpets and then head over to someone's house for holiday dinner that evening. Can you believe I actually enjoyed this? Could be because I was hanging out with my father and even though I was not a kid who enjoyed house work, I obliged him on the 25th (and Easter) maybe as a small gift to him. I now have a Pavlovian desire to clean house on major religious holidays.

So, here I am chilling, writing a blog entry which I have not done in ages but crave to do so every day but there just are never enough hours in the regular work day. I may be physically sick today but I feel so good right now.

BIG PICTURE STUFF: I am at a crossroads in my life where my priorities are shifting away from that which creates chaos in my life and I want...NEED... to take the road where I can glean more joy from what I spend my time doing. And have faith that I am doing right by those that I share space with on this Earth. Critters and people alike.

It's a risky time to take a leap of faith with the economy in the crapper but I have faith that as soon as I commit to the major life change I have been contemplating for a long while that good things will come. As Mahatma Ghandi said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." It starts right here, right now, with lil' ole' me.

I am a creative person by nature and I have stifled that for so many years just to keep putting food in my mouth and have health insurance but if there is no joy, no passion, no growth...then, what? I may as well forgo the insurance and lay down and die. SO, for me, it is time to turn a corner, breathe deep and LEAP!

Wish me luck...

SCRAPPY BOOK mentioned on cool blog...thank you!

I've been a bad blogger because I have been in a creative phase and have been taking pics and notes and plan to share, I promise but in the mean time I was delighted to find my lil' article on my Scrappy Book article for Quilting Arts mentioned on this super cool blog called THREADBANGER. I am trying to create some more "GREEN" projects as I move along on some other projects I am currently working on. As my ideas come to fruition I promise to share.

In the mean time thank your ThreadBanger!

STUDIOS A SPA FOR THE CREATIVE SOUL review

Okay….big old thumbs up to Cloth Paper Scissors new publication, STUDIOS: A Spa for the Creative Soul. I am in the midst of putting together my first “studio”. The last few years as my personal “creative soul” has expanded, my creative tools have moved from dining room table, to kitchen to bathroom, to shelves ALL OVER THE HOUSE….now, for the first time I will have one room dedicated to what I love to do which is CREATE. It is in the shelf-with-stuff-in-disarray point as I figure out the best storage solutions for all that I need for what I do and I DO A LOT! I dye, I paint, I tear, I glue, I rip, I stitch, I stain, I emboss, I bead, I repair, I …well, I just about do it all if it has to do with fabric or paper.

I have to admit that I have yet to READ it cover to cover but I have looked over all the photos of all the studios meticulously cover to cover and there are some great creative ideas for getting your creative world organized. The number one cool thing is that not all of the studios are SUPER PERFECT studios like in most publications where your mouth drools at the completely impossible especially if one is on a budget. Don’t get me wrong, there are shots of magical studios that one can only dream of but some of these rooms look much like my own and look like someone really works there. In fact there are 2 publications advertised in this publication that though I love them, I KNOW the studios pictured just can’t possibly look that perfect except for the photo shoot for the book. To clarify, I am not talking about the “before” pictures, either in a “before and after” feature in STUDIOS. A good example is the article, “fun & functional” by Jane Wynn. I don’t have a space as big as hers but her studio looks like a real studio and she utilizes many similar storage solutions that I do. I am at a place where I can’t spend a lot of money but it needs to be done and plastic storage is economical which is a plus. She uses it a lot in her studio.

I really love this publication and am referring to it quite a bit as I begin to get my mess organized and culled down.

Thank you, Cloth Paper Scissors! I love your publications! All of them!

Here is a link to order your own copy of STUDIOS A SPA FOR THE CREATIVE SOUL:

STUDIOS A SPA FOR THE CREATIVE SOUL

Here is a link to an on-line newsletter “how to” article I did for Quilting Arts, from the publishers of Cloth Paper Scissors:

Quilting Arts Embellishments newlsetter #50

THE JOURNEY BEGINS…or have I used that corny subject header already?

So, I admit to someone at work yesterday that I am someone who visualizes herself putting on those new tennies and comfy clothes and taking long walks and going for a jog or working out after work and every night I fail miserably and find myself wrapped up in computer work sitting on my growing behind, designing art or just being a couch potato watching American Idol (cuz that cute guy with the dreads is a friend of a friend of mine) despite the best of intentions of doing something physical. I have found that being a creative person to move forward and open the mind, ya just gotta go hang on a jungle gym, jump up and down, chase butterflies, do yoga….whatever it takes to get the heart rate up and come back to your creative space and you will be amazed at how you not only feel those endorphins flying through your body on a natural high but your mind opens up.

I took my first long solo walk last night IN A LONG TIME and will be putting my tennies on again in a few to do it again….last night I took my camera along to take pics of my journey but tonight will be all about “the burn”….hee….so no pics this time but maybe tomorrow when I do it while the sun it up, I’ll shoot some flowers. It is such a high to walk at night here because the jasmine is in bloom and something else that has a spicy sweet scent that I am clueless as to what it is but will find out from a California native. It intoxicates me. I will go a woodsier walk tonight but last night was down a major thoroughfare, safe but well, walked so I learned that I can get a Thai massage until 10pm for 35 bucks just walking distance from the homestead…good to know.

It was heaven.

A photo on the way.....

I made a restaurant for some "to-go" organic food my destination (I am such a Virgo that I have to get something crossed off my “to-do” list when I am doing something else whimsical like “working out”….I am sooooo lame!) and then back home but the organic place was closed so I backtracked to this great coffee shop where I used to do comedy...my first early sets. They have insanely great sandwiches and salads, so white albacore tuna on rosemary bread it was. As I waited, there was a free LA yoga publication on the table and I flip through it and unexpectedly find a friend of mine has this article in it that I was meant to come across last night. I think you will like it, too.

Here is a link to an on-line version:

MY OTHER CAR IS A YOGA MAT

Enjoy....I must send her a note because I loved this as I had no idea that she and I have such similar issues. In fact, I chipped a tooth with the same plight she suffers from.....once ya read, you will understand!